Yup.. If are you thinking that I have gone mad, then maybe you are the one that I will be spewing my venom against, and you still have the option of saying  fcuk off you hole in the ass.

I mean, seriously, can you really advise people? Its not that you need another degree that many people are thinking of  pursuing (or rather following someones advise ). Neither is it about what you need to know. Its just that do have the brains (thats the squishy thing inside your skull for morons) to actually give out advises?

Mind you because taking and giving advise is what everyone does . And I mean it. Ever since the day you started to communicate, you have been listening to the rants of getting up early, brushing your teeth, having a light breakfast / lunch / dinner / whatever in between, and going to sleep on time. Now, as if that was not sufficient, you were also advised (rather enforced upon) to not piss in your own pants. Actually in this case, even when you could not communicate, this was a big embarrassment when you knowingly pissed and then people would start playing the game of pass it on until you reached your mother and then she would say it playfully that “LITTLE ANGEL, YOU SHOULD NOT DO THAT” so you see how deeply we are surrounded with advises.

Then you grew up, went to school and you started your tradition of advises. Telling your mates what your mom says about studies / sleeping / pissing and all. Now as if this was not enough, you even took advises like whom to avoid, whom to befriend , what colour of underwear is the most cool… blah blah blah…

Then finally the day you graduated, then took advises on which firm to join, whats the normally expected salary, when is the next increment, which car / bike to buy etc etc..

The hopeless list just goes on.. and on..and on.. and on..

Now in this whole process, you took / gave advises to almost every category of person that I can ever imagine. Like your friend, bro, mother, father, sis, gardener, driver etc etc.. even the toilet cleaner was not spared ( I kinda have a liking for toilets you know… but its a different topic altogether).

Now my point is have you ever considered their advises with full faith? And who is to blame when the advise goes wrong? Mind you this is a very serious question.

You blew up things with any random girl just to prove to your friends that you are in demand? And your gf caught you just when you were gonna blow it up?

You joined engineering just cos the distant friend of your neighbour’s distant cousin’s son had managed to get a salary of 2.88 after the unsaid struggle of 7 years?? and you still are jobless?

There might have cropped a lot of examples in your mind when you took a decision just because the president of america said that he had to go to potty every 3 hrs 25 mins and 45 secs when he uses the pen made of recycled toilet paper! and you are thinking that “wish this fcuker does not pull this up here. its so much of an embarrassment here”

Now who is to blame? You? who thought their advise was worthy at all. Or was it you? who never thought about the consequences and never applied your brain (thats the size of a micoscopic bacteria)? Did you ever think of who would be the best candidate to ask for advises?

If the answer to any of the above questions is NO, maybe you need to get your brains swollen so that they can be detected by an electron microscope. Dont worry one of them will be able to detect your brain and say that weather it’s actually yours or a bacteria donated it to you. They have become extremely powerful these days and can easily detect even the smallest of all virusses !

So now getting back to the point before I run out of the space here, the point that I am trying to put forward is not that you need a zillion core pentium core zillion duo procesor with a storage space of a similar zeta-bytes. Its plain common sense that think before you act and same applies to thinking before you ask for advises.

You asked for the advise and worse still, you chose to follow it and when it goes wrong, you put the blame on someone who you know cant say anything.

By qualified to advise I mean that do you have the ability to guage a person’s requirements as opposed to what you want out of that discussion? Even a shopkeeper is qualified to advise, but he wont suggest a low profit product over a high profit one even if he needs to misguide you..

its something like this.

Man:- I need a good shampoo for dandruff

shopkeeper :- sir I have the headless and shoulderless. Very good shampoo saar. You will like it saar.

Man:- how much?

Shopkeeper:- dont worry saar, its worth the money. I will get it packed.

Man:- wait show me that “clinical all cleared”.

Shopkeeper:- saar that’s old stock. All rejected pieces saar. This H&S is very good.

Man:- ok.

Pays the money and leaves

Now after reaching the magnificent hotel (yes a hotel), he realises he could have bought an sachet instead of the 150 bucks bottle since was to stay only for 2 days. Later when he calls up home, realises the clinical one was better. Now feeling like a donkey, curses his luck and gets to the bath. Then he realises that the hotel provides a sachet of shampoo by default. Now who is at fault?

the man cos he was not insistent on asking the price and quality to someone else?

Or was it the shopkeeper who did sell him the wrong shampoo and that too a bottle when he could see that he was a tourist?

Or was it the booking agent who did not care to inform him as to what the hotel will be like?

Or was it him who never inquired about the hotel or asked his wife cos she gets the shampoo at home?

So if you get the point, everyone gives an advise from their perspective of the problem, not yours. It’s your duty to realise this and check the ability of the person to advise.

Another similar story is like this.

A man was going to an important place and was going to pick up his wife and a friend to come along. Midway, the sole of his shoe came off. Desperate to get it repaired, he asked a cobbler if the shoe could be repaired or should he buy a new one. The cobbler promptly replied that the shoe could be repaired happy about this, the man got it repaired and picked up his wife.

As soon as she noticed his shoes, she said “since they are going to an important place, he should get a good new one”. So the man decided for a bata shoe store nearby, and got a new one. Soon the wife commented, “this shoe looks worse than the size of your dcik (you know what I mean)”. So the man now went to a woodland showroom with his wife and got a set of sparkling new awesome shoes. Happy with his new buy and that they would definitely impress anyone on the face of this earth, he then picked up his friend who took them to the place which was very important to visit. Any guesses where he took them??

It was a temple. Soon the man realised that his pet dog was puking after eating his brain which the man wasnt using and somewhere the brain fell off (which was completely rotten anyway).

So the moral here is same as all of the story above. Does the person who you have dared to ask for, knows what are your requirements?

Mind you everyone advises cos its free. Ask the person for his liability and watch him run faster than a leopard, even if the ass of the leopard is on fire.

So the next time you ask for advise, pause, and think if you really need the advice from the person.